Where there are two people loving a pet, there are often two opinions on how to raise and treat the animal. Different techniques under the same roof utterly confuse a dog, often resulting in maniac responses to new stimulations, as the dog cannot set a behavioral course. The dog must consider, ‘Will a new person be more strict like one partner or playful, like the other?’ When the humans unite, however, and present the dog with consistent routines and expectations, the dog/puppy is noticeable more content.
With children, child psychologists often discuss the importance of parents teaming up to present a generational divide, defining their expectations, and setting consistent rules that must be respected. There are direct similarities with dogs, although I’ve related this to creating a “species divide” where people united to present the dog with clearly defined expectations, such as no jumping or nipping. This mutuality enables dogs to recognize what is acceptable, as it facilitates positive socialization and overall inclusion.
I share a recent situation. Maxi, a shepherd mix, was adopted overseas and brought to this country where she would decidedly live a much better life. Loved beyond question, many of her idiosyncrasies were over looked, as were the inconsistencies of the couple: he liked to play rough and allow Maxi on the bed, the wife was less gregarious in her inclusion, though no less loving toward the dog. Maxi’s behavior, however, got tossed to under the microscope the moment this couple had their first child. Maxi’s nervous protectiveness, and discomfort with the new addition brought on grave concern. What could be done?
Though this situation is far more complex than space would allow, suffice it to say that Maxi’s salvation lies in the ability of this couple to unit in their “species” rules and expectations. Maxi is never allowed to put her teeth on human skin: in play or reactiveness. She is not allowed to get on the furnishings, where she was recorded growling at the baby. These limitations are not optional, but must be the new species rule if she is to understand her place in this family. Though the husband lamented lost fun time, letting a dog bite you in play spells out a lack of inhibition that must be present if one is to raise a dog with children. A new game was taught in a sessions time: one that involved retrieving a ball, dropping it, then backing up a waiting for a re-toss.
Initially I spoke of setting a generation gap, which in the end gives children the permission to be children. With our dogs it is no different: if we provide a united front, defining “species laws,” it allows our pets to accept our limitations, and get down to the fun, wonder and joy of just being a dog.
Sarah Hodgson shares her knowledge of dogs and people through her books, including Puppies for Dummies and DogPerfect, as well as through individual and group instruction.